Friday, November 20, 2009

Convos in the Minnie Van 11/09

We had the pleasure of spending some time with Celeste and Emme's teachers this afternoon for parent conferences.

We learned that they are doing well, and are good students. (I also learned that Celeste needs to work on not passing notes to her friends. I found this utterly delightful, because I worry about her being such a serious child. Of course, I agree that note passing and whispering in class is not a good habit, but still, I'm happy that she can be naughty once in a while.)

We decided to take our superstars out to dinner to celebrate their accomplishments. While I drove the Minnie Van to the latest greatest new diner (Dad following in his car), I praised them and told them how proud we were of them.

Then Emme started to cry.

"Mommy, I'm crying, but I don't know why." I could see her in my rear view mirror wiping tear after tear from her beautiful face.

I asked, "Does something hurt?" I was sure I didn't say anything to hurt her feelings, but I questioned anyway, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no." She answered, still weeping. "I don't know why I'm crying. There's no reason for me to be crying. I just am."
We all let her have her personal space, and enjoyed the ride to the restaurant listening to music.

We arrived at our destination. I parked and unbuckled the girls from their seatbelts.

Climbing out of the van, Emme jumped into my arms and smiled at me. "Mommy I know why I was crying now." She was radiant. "I was happy. I was crying tears of happiness."

Celeste, who has experienced this type of tears many times while watching Cinderella, or Hotel for Dogs, or even Breakfast at Tiffany's with me - we have shared some good happy cryfests, she and I - pumped her fist in the air.

"I knew it! I could tell those were tears of joy."

Emme laughed her bubbly laugh. She was thrilled to have become a bonafide member of our emotional ranks.

Arm in arm, we all marched off to join Daddy at Bob's Big Boy.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Theological Beauty

Emme, with her sunny disposition and sense of humor belies her deep sense of self in contrast to her sister who is very serious, thoughtful and gifted with natural integrity.
Since I have the privilege of raising this dual natured child, I know her well, and am careful with how I teach her what I am supposed to be teaching her.

When she was around four years of age, she asked me, "Mommy, what happens to us when we die?" I gave her my best. "Emme, we are like caterpillars on this earth. We go about our business, and one day, we wrap it all up and take a very long rest. When we wake up, we find that we are transformed into something wonderful. Just like the caterpillar has no idea he will become a butterfly one day - something completely different - we have no idea what will happen to us. But I guarantee you it will be just as awesome."

Emme took that explanation to heart, and has been satisfied since. However, she is so in tune with the spiritual world that she comes to me with some questions that stump me and are not so easily answered.

Celeste was having anxiety problems, so I took her to the park and talked to her while Emme and Brooke played. We talked out the things that were bothering her, and I taught her how to meditate. I gave her a scene with animals and grass and water and showed her how to relax her body and give in to being one with God. She loved it. Happy and relaxed, she joined her sisters while I sat on the bench and supervised.

Eventually Emme came up to me and asked, "Mommy, what were you talking about with Celeste?" I explained that we talked out Celeste's problems and used meditation as a way to relax. "Would you like to try it?" I asked. "Sure." Emme agreed to it. I took her through the same routine, the park, the animals, the water, but Emme didn't buy it. "So what did you think?" I asked her. "Mom, all I saw were animals, grass and water. I didn't see God. When I want to see Him, I pray." Everyone is different, so I told her that that was wonderful.

Emme then looked up at me with her clear eyes and asked, "Mommy, do all prayers come true? Because every day, I pray for Chloe to be able to walk." I did not know how to answer this. If she had not thrown in her Chloe prayer, I would have answered 'yes'. But I don't know if she will ever walk. I dug deep. I didn't want to lie, but I believe in miracles, and I believe in prayer, so I told Emme the same. Emme was satisfied once again and ran off to play with her sisters.

Recently, the girls were chatting with me and asked, "What's a conscience? "It's the little voice inside you that tells you right from wrong. Sometimes cartoons show it as a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other shoulder." We discussed these little characters and different ways our conscience shows up. Ultimately, we decided it's knowing the difference between good and evil.

Again, Emme looked at me with clarity in her eyes and asked, "Did Adam and Eve have a conscience?" I was stunned. What a good question. I was quiet, and she went on, "Because my teacher said that before they ate the apple, they didn't know the difference between good and evil." I thought and decided that they didn't know the difference because there was no evil around to make that difference. Emme accepted that idea as pretty good, but I wondered, "Did they have a conscience?" What a funny thing to ponder.

Then, last night, I wasn't even looking, but I found this quote by Emanuel Swedenborg "Conscience is God's presence in man." That was it. Adam and Eve didn't need a conscience because they were in God's presence.

I can't wait to tell Emme.